• If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!



Page history last edited by rsb 9 years, 1 month ago
"Dude, there is no possible way I can write a psychological thriller.  This is going to suck." - Rich

  Freenode.net 07:40:30
claire]	   sis, I think I'm losing hair.
nancy11]   r u sure?
claire]	   it's coming out in clumps in the shower
nancy11]   Whoa.  have you seen a doctor?
nancy11]   I'm so sorry to hear that!
claire]	   can u tell me this is not my fault?
nancy11]   It's not your fault!!!
claire]	   :(
nancy11]   but...
claire]	   what?
nancy11]   come home, sis.
claire]	   um...I love u 2, but random?
nancy11]   you're not bald.  you just need a break.  with real people.
claire]	   I'm pretty sure the people here are real.  A little earthy, crunchy, maybe.
nancy11]   tell your boss, Brent, or whoever, that you just can't eat hemp granola anymore, and get your ass back here.  
           ur hair will stop falling out.
nancy11]   and you can have a full head of hair while you eat pastrami sandwiches with me an joey.
claire]	   :P !Brent. =Ali. + no proven link between hair loss and hemp granola
nancy11]   whatever, that job is stressing you out.  you only work from 6PM to midnight because you 
           hate programming - and there is nothing else you can do in that crappy office during those hours.  
           you used to be incredibly happy at that bakery on 19th in NJ.  you were even happy to get up at 5AM! 
claire]	   Blerg.  I was barely making ends meet at that bakery. stress is not that bad.
nancy11]   i have told you what it's doing to you?
claire]	   ?? aside from supposedly making me bald and unhappy ??
nancy11]   unhappy is nothing.  stress, claire, look it up.  not good.
claire]	   I don't want to look.  I just want my hair.
nancy11]   brb - looking this shit up for you.
claire]	   really?  no.  I don't want to know.
claire]	   nancy?  mom says I should stick it out anyway.
claire]	   k...I'll brb2.  don't look that up.
nancy11]   sorry, sis, but I have to set you straight once and for all here.  this is the stuff you have complained 
           about to me, on chat:  
nancy11]   puking into trash can, stomach cramps, cold sweat, rash/bumps/skin stuff, back aches
nancy11]   and...hair loss
nancy11]   so if that wasn't clear enough evidence that you are torturing yourself...
nancy11]   here is the list of stuff I found that work stress does - and that's just from a two minute google:
nancy11]   Absence of menstruation, tumors, ulcers, increased chance of heart disease, fatigue, headaches, emotional 
           disorders, colds, cramps, infections, rashes, cancer, sleep disorders, unlikely to exercise, more likely 
           to smoke and adopt poor eating habits, less time outdoors, less sunshine, unrealistic goals and increased 
           dissapointment, hair loss, less sex, increased sense of isolation, depression.
nancy11]   THAT is what you can look forward to with that shitty job, plus Brent_The_Asshole.
nancy11]   and hair loss. oh wait, you already knew that.  long term - this is fucked.
claire]	   back...you always cheer me up. :(
nancy11]   sis.
nancy11]   come home
nancy11]   quit now
nancy11]   while u r young
nancy11]   live for a few minutes
claire]	   nancy, I can't come home.  you know I've been exaggerating with all those things.  
nancy11]   WTF?!?  
nancy11]   exaggerated puke?  rashes?  cramps?  HFS!  that shit was real!  you skyped me and showed me the rashes.  
claire]	   This job isn't the problem, tho.  I just need someone to help me with my hair.  I have health insurance here.  
           There's a doctor for that.
nancy11]   fuck. this.  I can't do this.  we can't both be stress cases.  that doesn't work.
claire]	   wait!  nancy?
nancy11]   you neet to have a little chat with reality first, then HMU.
claire]	   lets start over! do-over! do-over!
nancy11]   hope you have good health insurance.  you are going to need it over there.  good luck with 
           those health issues.  talk to me when you are prepared to see that money and status are not everything.
(nancy11 disconnected)
claire]    shite.

#claire_ezeke on irc.freenode.net 10:21:16
claire]	   z.  u got a minute?
ezeke]	   got lots.  travelling through time.
claire]	   cool.  u think Ali would be k with work from home for a month or so?
ezeke]	   u see that oatmeal cartoon about that?
claire]	   no seriously
ezeke]	   http://theoatmeal.com/comics/working_home
ezeke]	   check the "action items for tues" about halfway down. seriously.
claire]	   z. how would U ask Ali about that?
ezeke]	   I would write it on a piece of paper
ezeke]	   and shove it down his throat.
claire]	   thx. :(  I think I need to work from home.
ezeke]	   well, seriously, I would definitely ask him.  just blurt it out, or he will run over you.  what's up?
claire]	   Ali twists my requests.  somehow they get deflected. 
ezeke]	   what's wrong?
claire]	   stress an' shit.  want to spend time w family 
ezeke]	   maybe tell Ali that he's a smarmy manipulative ass and he's stressin' u out.
claire]	   not helpful. I have stomach cramps again
ezeke]	   there has to be a better word for Ali.  assmarmipulative.
claire]	   z
ezeke]	   nah.  smarmy covers it: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smarmy
claire]	   z! Ali is in the chatroom!  
ezeke]	   bullshit.
claire]	   gotcha?
ezeke]	   no...anyway...hmmm....stomach cramps again...you might be stressed out.
claire]	   ya think?
ezeke]	   I'm able to handle Ali.  Ali needs programmers.  I fix his bugs.  You r one of his front end people.  
           Let me know if you need help with him.
claire]	   no, z.  thanks.  I'll talk to Ali.  soooo dreading tho...
ezeke]	   yo, BTW, you know that special project I was working on?  we're installing software at all our partner offices.  
           that stuff Mike worked on with the goldman sachs grant.  I put your name in as the most likely to 
           successfully implement the installs in the field.
claire]	   that's awesome! I think. just as long as that software you wrote doesn't phone home.
ezeke]	   funny you should mention it...I made sure we get a log of everything, but it does have that capability.
claire]	   I dunno ezeke...
ezeke]     hey, I'm writing a psychological thriller right now.
claire]    that's cool.
ezeke]     nah.  it sux.
claire]    seriously?
ezeke]     Yah.  I don't know a psychological thriller from a hole in the ground.     
ezeke] 	   gotta go to standup.
claire]	   k. ttys.
(ezeke has disconnected)

#claire_ali on irc.freenode.net 08:04:13
claire]	   hi Ali
ali_phd]   you were in bright and early
claire]	   yeah, merging
ali_phd]   I ran your test cases -  you're on track to hit three points this week.  Heading in the right direction.  
claire]	   CSS rework was easier than I thought.  g showed me what I needed to do.
ali_phd]   take a look at the new framework he has going.  port this weeks stuff to that today.  
           it will help you out in the long run.
claire]	   not sure porting to that is a one day thing...
ali_phd]   well, we can talk about it with g.  in any case, I'm really happy you'll knock out a few points this week.. 
           you'll be at four points a week soon enough.
claire]	   I actually wanted to talk to you about working from home.
ali_phd]   u r almost at four points a week.  would feel great to get there.  want to make that a milestone for WFH?
ali_phd]   claire?
claire]	   I guess we could do that.  
ali_phd]   that's great.  that's going to make you feel a lot better.  I'm really rooting for you to get there and 
           want to help you in any way I can.
claire]	   It's possible that I might get to four points if I work from home for a few weeks, right?
ali_phd]   I don't think you will improve working from home.  This week you were in close contact with people, 
           like g on that CSS stuff, and that helps.  It is possible.  I'm just saying, you are making great 
           progress and being here is obviously a huge part of that progress.
ali_phd]   you will feel better when you hit four points.  why don't we go for it next week.  get to four points, 
           then try a week from home.
claire]	   o.k. 
claire]	   but I meant home, home.  on the east coast, for a month.  I'm kind of stressed and I think it would 
           help me relax.
ali_phd]   wow.  that's a long time to be out of the office.  I'll have to talk to HR about how that usually works.  
claire]	o.k. can you do that?
ali_phd]   I'll talk to them next week.  We have to be fair, though, and treat everyone the same, so we'll see 
           how those arrangements are made.
ali_phd]   In the meantime, lets try to get to four points next week.  That will relieve a lot of stress, for both of us.  
           I'll feel better, too.
claire]	   o.k.
ali_phd]   sweet.  this is going to be awesome!  
ali_phd]   while I have you here.  could you check in that url shortener?  I know we wanted to have it in this release 
claire]	   It's not finished.
ali_phd]   o.k. just as soon as you can.  we need it in qa on thursday.
claire]	   k
ali_phd]   hey, one more thing.
ali_phd]   if we can get you to four points, I can get you on a travel team.
claire]	   you mean like staff trips to other countries?
ali_phd]   yup!  :)
claire]	   wow. that sounds kinda neat.
ali_phd]   yeah.  not many teams have a position like that, but we can get you overseas once a month, working with 
           small banks.  We'll still need you to program but it's the adventure of a lifetime.  You will have to deliver some 
           hardware and setup our software at each bank.
claire]	   neat!...hope I can handle it.
ali_phd]   thanks, c!  gotta run to a meeting.  grab me anytime you want to talk.
(ali_phd has disconnected)

#psychchat on irc.freenode.net 05:31:01

claire]	   	      morning, y'all
bichi]	   	      mornin' claire!
edgartehgrouch]	      what's so good about it!
claire]		      luv ya' ed.
123brenda]	      So I asked my doctor about physiological links and he had nothing. 
123brenda]	      I really need help now.  Can't work if I can't sleep.  Anyone get results right away from hypnosis, 
                      meds, meditation, anything?
bichi]		      HOGMP
twofergie]	      bichi: huh?
bichi]		      http://www.theonion.com/articles/chatroom-shorthand,7761/
twofergie]	      bichi: don't get fat.  I still want you.
bichi]		      get in my belly!
preteenymaki]	      nom nom nom bichi + pringles_greese ^ fry = yum
twofergie]	      hearts #psychchat toasted nuts
123brenda]	      I'm new here, but there are 134 people in this room, right?  Can anyone help me?
claire]		      123brenda: I'll talk to you.  Don't know if I can help.
123brenda]	      hi claire
claire]		      123brenda: FYI only a few of those 134 people are actually looking at their computers.  
                      can take days to get help on IRC sometimes. Rule of thumb is that 1% of the people contribute.
123brenda]	      why do they stay on this chatroom if they don't want to help someone?
edgartehgrouch]	      123brenda: no one will hellp you if you don't calm down.
claire]		      123brenda: you will also find some people are going to be unhelpful.  and some people won't 
                      talk to you if you don't answer someone elses questions first.
123brenda]	      edgarthegrouch, I am calm. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!
edgartehgrouch]	      123brenda: shout much where ur from?  
123brenda]	      I'm from seattle, and that's all you need to know.
edgartehgrouch]	      kill yourself.  seattle will keep depressing you.  or move.  HTH.
dryourmom]	      123brenda: any of the things you mentioned can help.  meditation has been shown to help, 
                      but it's hard work.  see the stress faq.
123brenda]	      stress faq?  where, please?
edgartehgrouch]	      123brenda: there are two faqs: http://tinyurl.com/77xcy8v and http://tinyurl.com/6kl7ypr
Raphediene]	      claire! how's the meditation going?
claire]		      Raph! good!  but only five minutes a day. if that.  in the mornings.  
claire]		      123brenda: take a step back.  go slow.  restate the problem and what you have tried. 
claire]               123brenda: oh, also, irc can be kind of terrible.  you might not want to chat here.
bichi]		      just ate half a pint of Americone Dream
twofergie]	      :facepalm:
Raphediene]	      claire: trouble with 20 min?
dryourmom]	      edgartehgrouch: I'm not even going to look at those links.
bichi]		      twofergie: sadly, sure I will finish this pint.
edgartehgrouch]	      dryourmom: pity.  it's funny.
twofergie]	      bichi:  Nooooooo! put down the b&j
123brenda]	      THAT IS DISGUISTING! I come here looking for help, and I get ABUSED!
Raphediene]	      claire: did you try standing?
claire]		      Raphediene: no, sitting.
Raphediene]	      chat me about standing meditation.  if you are just doing 5 minutes, standing will work better 
                      for you.  Counter-intuitively, helps most when you are most rushed.
diannahard]	      123brenda: kill yourself and zoloft are the most common recommendations when the kids get offended.  they were generated by the eliza_bot and just kind of caught on.  you will have to 
                      ignore several of those before you get the info you want.  
123brenda]	      diannahard: I don't know who you people think you are.  You should be shut down!  IRC is not terrible.  You people are terrible!
diannahard]	      123brenda: that said, if you can't find a sense of humor about the whole thing, kill yourself, or take another zoloft. 
(123brenda has disconnected)

#church_of_prosperity on irc.freenode.net 06:13:12
claire]	        Got a problem for you guys.  I'm thinking of switching jobs.  Getting something closer to home.
pastor_v]	That's wonderful!  We miss you in church! Your mom misses you too!
lisa439]   	Claire! you're a programmer, right?  You should get a job in finance, the big banks are hiring 
                techies like crazy! 
claire]	   	I used to worry about working at a company that is sucking up the worlds resources.
pastor_v]  	we can't make the world last forever, claire.  ultimately, we have to rely on god to provide.
lisa439]	I don't think Jesus would mind that you are part of the top 1%.  As long as you helped others.  
                He wants you to have abundance.
claire]		lisa439: I'm apolitical.  I don't even know what the top 1% is.
OMGJESUS]       http://bit.ly/M9Bgwd  
pastor_v]	claire, what's really keeping you from making the decision to come home?
claire]		pastor_v: either my mom or my job will kill me with stress.  I'm trapped.
jc_rocks]	lisa439: want to know what teh wikipedia says about that?
jc_rocks]	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_percenter_(motorcycle)#One_percenter
lisa439]	jc_rocks: we're not impressed with that kind of humor.
pastor_v]	interesting take on 1%ers, jc_rocks.
pasor_v]	prayer will help with stress, but can you talk to your mom about that?
claire]		my mom was really happy when I took this job because of the money.  I was happy because 
                I thought microfinance was good.
pastor_v]	it's all in the implementation, of course, but the ideals are sound, don't you think?
jc_rocks]	claire: doesn't matter what company you work for.  all successful orgs follow the same pattern.
jc_rocks]	1) gather power and information, 2) corruption, 3) destruction
lisa439]	jc_rocks that's crazy.
claire]		I'm happy with an unsuccessful org, then.
jc_rocks]	it's possible to find those, but you won't be in the 1% by a far sight.
pastor_v]	jc_rocks: that's a common misconception.  it is our job to root out corruption in 
                ourselves and our organizations.
jc_rocks]	pastor_v: yes, that works for a short time in each case.  short enough as to be 
                irrelevant.  see also: history
lisa439]	that's where faith comes in jc_rocks.
cliare]		thanks, guys. I don't think I'll move anywhere anyway.  too stressed out to think about this for now.
(claire has disconnected)

#claire_nancy on irc.freenode.net 02:09:11
nancy11]	Got your txt.  Back from your first business trip early.  That's a good thing?
claire]		And...my last business trip.  I got a job!
nancy11] 	here?
nancy11] 	please say it's here.
claire] 	manhattan!
nancy11] 	god: please tell me claire is working for a deli and not working for goldman sachs.
claire]		they took me back at Terries!
nancy11]	excuse me while I take this moment to dance around the room.  brb.
claire]		you back?
claire]		nancy?
nancy11]	back. MUAH! love you!  when do you get here?
claire]		:)  I'm coming in Friday.
nancy11]	must. dance around room again.  o.k! 
claire]		I'm coming right now with a little stuff.  Friends are gonna keep the rest of my crap or sell it.
nancy11]	My only regret is that I know you are too good to spit in the sandwiches of all the GS employees 
                while you make sandwiches for them at Terry's.
claire]		Well, actually, I did spit in their sandwich.
nancy11]	??
claire]		;)
claire]		After my first partner trip, I recorded all the data their "app" was sending.
claire]		They were gathering info on the little banks.  
nancy11]	I don't understand but that sounds shitty.  I mean, normal.
claire]		I made the logs publicly available.
claire]		Kinda got fired.
nancy11]	wow.  you.  are.  my.  hero.
claire]		gonna have to work in little unsuccessful delis, now.
nancy11]	o.k. but WTF?  who told you how to define success?  mom? lol.
claire]		:) yeah.  happy.  look forward to seeing you soon.
nancy11] 	MUAH!  email me flight num?  I'll be there.  Everything else o.k. on trip?
claire]		well, yeah, one more thing.
claire]		I met a guy.
nancy11]	is this that hot guy your email?
nancy11]        brb. ogling. 
claire]         yyyyyyyup.
nancy11]        wait.  you saved the world.  met a hot black guy.  and have a job at an awesome deli.  
nancy11]	am I fucking hearing this right?
claire]		:)
nancy11]	god is making you the wealthiest bitch on planet earth.  
claire]		I know.
nancy11]	mom is going to be so pissed.

#claire_cbwealthmanagement on irc.cbwealthmanagement.cc 02:10:11

claire]    I only have 8000 bitcoins rcvd so far on the recieving address I gave you

cbwm972]   Checking...yeah, that's right. We only have eight of the backdoors you set up active.

claire]    A few of the smaller banks may not have rebooted their servers yet. I'll remind them.

claire]    for their safety, of course ;) to reboot their systems

cbwm972]   You're still planning on working at that crappy deli?

claire]    Hell yeah. That place is awesome.

cbwm972]   Well, once all 37 banks come in, you can sell your bc and buy a couple banks in africa, and a deli.

claire]    I'm sure you guys will own those banks by then. I'll stick to the delis. Maybe I'll buy one deli outside each of your offices.

cbwm972]   Hehe! Don't think we don't know what you think of us. We don't need delis. We like clean food anyway.

claire]    I don't think any less of you than I do me. Well, not much, anyway.

cbwm972]   We can help you invest in those delis, you know. We have experts in that, believe it or not.

claire]    But I'm not stupid.

cbwm972]   Hehe. Pleasure doing business with you, claire. Congratulations on getting hitched. Family is important, isn't it?

claire]    Awww, yeah.  And you're like family to me, too.  That's why I have to check in every so often with my servers via tor, so that your competitor doesn't know who paid to have them screwed.

cbwm972]   TTYS.


Disconnected from irc.cbwealthmanagement.cc


Creative Commons License
This work by Rich Bodo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.